Tetrodotoxin
(c. clay; includes an interpolation of the Romani traditional, “Ramona”)

your eyes are tired, baby
where is the light?

when the stigmata appeared in his hands
he fucked the holes & then jumped in the sand
of a golf course, honey – a country club mummy
& he knew he’d awaken still hard & bloody
…sort of angry, sitting in the corner…
& now baby:

i got knots on my backbone
i kick knots on the tree
there’s a knot in my neck-rope
& a crowd of nazis
(& a crowd of not-sees)
there is not a wailing woman
there is not a prayer
i usedta have breathing trouble
now I got not a care
& an old man say
that at the end of the day
some angel’s comin for
to carry me home singin:

“Your heart, your mind
– you threw it all away…
Your truth, your lies
- you threw it all away…
Your shame, your pride
- you threw it all away…
You threw it All.”

i ain’t alive no more

i used to have so much money
that i needed two wallets
then the kindness of strangers
came to break my fall
it was the wheel of fortune & i’d wanna get off
while some stranger bought my body
cuz i needed some dosh
yeah i had a dream & i had a goal
& only me was gonna be CEO of my soul
but after awhile the journey get old
& you find too many hurdles
keep your feet from the road

your eyes are tired, baby
where is the light?
it’s like a house that’s burned,
its kids returned
to live in search of flint.

i put a bomb in my belly, I was tired of time
with no blast after the tick

there is not a wailing woman
there is not a prayer
i usedta have a breathing habit
& now I do not even dare
i got knots on my backbone
I kick knots on the tree
there’s a knot in my neck-rope
do you wanna hang wit’ me?

some angel’s comin for
to carry me home singin:
“Your death, your life…
- you threw it all away.”

The one who accepts unjust violence
is slave to another’s greed.
And the one who’s born a rebel for freedom
knows not what to do in peace.
One side says accept - the other, reject -
duality.
This Is My Explanation
To The Friends I Couldn’t Keep.

so many friendships i couldn’t keep
but humiliation’s always been there for me
humiliation is disguised at night
but is always undressed
by the morning light

your eyes are tired, baby…
where is the light?